i want to remember this:

"If people try to see beauty they will. If one never tries than it is likely they will miss all the beauty that makes us laugh and cry and feel full of life."

"Be well in the ways you can be and wait for wellness where it is not."

--Two great quotes, taken from a letter I received from a friend today. So important, so worth cherishing.

my heart is mitten-shaped

I'm not hating it here, or even feeling "homesick" per se, but I really miss Michigan today.

I wish I could have lived in Grand Rapids when I wasn't in school. There was so much I didn't do or see or get involved with because I was just too busy trying to finish college. Like, The Bloom Collective-- so awesome! I lived like, four blocks from this place, I never once stepped foot inside. I've been exposed to a lot of new (to me) and radical ideas since being in Baltimore, and I hate to think that if I had just had more of a chance to step outside of the Calvin box while I was in GR, I could have started this political/spiritual journey much sooner.

I miss summertime-- biking streets I knew like the back of my hand; breathing fresh, green air; the breeze through my open windows; living on James; eating Brick Road Pizza like, 3 times a week. Seeing my mom and my sisters whenever I wanted. Fresh bread from the bakery across the street.

I miss having a Michigan accent and fitting in with everyone. (It's weird that I grew up here and I don't have a Maryland accent. I feel a little bit like a poser...) What used to be "Hi, how are ya?" has become "How you doin'" or "How are y'all?". Every once in awhile I'll here myself slip into my Michigan voice, and it secretly makes me happy. :)

all things go

Just got back from a retreat with the east coast LVC volunteers. We spent five days in a cabin on the Chesapeake Bay... It was an amazing, relaxing, challenging, revelatory, bonding time, and I loved it.

One reason -- We got to see this every night:


Getting back into city life was really tough today, for a number of reasons. The car exhaust seemed much more noticeable as I breathed during my bike commute; bizarre interactions with people on the street; multiple injuries on-the-job; forgetting about work commitments and bringing a PB&J sandwich as my only food for an 11-hour shift; being in East Baltimore again and feeling anxious and unsafe, then hating that I feel that way...

There were moments of grace, too. My awesome, supportive, goofy bosses; quiet moments in the office, when I feel okay just sitting for a minute; dang that PB&J was good; Lots of TEA; wise and hilarious comments from some 13-year-olds; hopping fences with 86-year-old Ms. Rosetta because she was locked out of her house and we had to break in through the back door; vegan chicken nuggets & Old Bay fries lovingly prepared by my housemate; and, Sufjan.



This video is from Sufjan's performance at Calvin College's festival of faith and music in 2007. I was able to see this live, but I stumbled across this video today, and it was really nice to remember that time in my life and how moving and important this song is to me.

Also, garden update:

sprouts! (winter rye and hairy vetch, great cover crops/green manure... They'll keep the soil from eroding over the winter, and will be a valuable nitrogen source in the spring, when I'll cut them into the soil.)

I'll remember this:

Baltimore Lutheran Volunteer Corps 2009-2010 members at our commissioning service on Oct. 20th... What a great family we are.