Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Simplicity.

This isn't news to most people, but I spent 2009-2011 serving as a member of Lutheran Volunteer Corps in Baltimore, Maryland. LVC is a community of faith that unites people to work for peace with justice, and has three core values: community, social justice, and simplicity (/sustainability*). This can be interpreted and lived out in many different ways, but there are some aspects that are pretty universal: first, all volunteers work at non profit organizations (some doing direct service, others indirect, or advocacy); second, all volunteers live in intentional community with 2-5 other volunteers. Don't get me wrong, these can look very different from person to person, house to house, city to city. But, for a few reasons, I really want to talk about how much gray area there is to living out simplicity. Personally, this has challenged me the most in my 2 years with LVC and my third year living in community with Jubilee House.

*=There are some parallels between simplicity and sustainability. I tend to think of sustainability as actions that one takes to tread lighter on the earth, especially using fewer resources & consuming less (food, energy, stuff). In theory, to live sustainably usually means to live more simply, through the paring down of one's habits, choices, possessions... But I would add to that the clearing of one's internal life: practicing mindfulness (being present in each moment), gratitude, and inner tranquility.

I can do sustainable living in the "earth-friendly" sense. It's not always pleasant, but I am easily energized to push myself, motivated by the desire to love and respect Mother Earth. In those moments, simplicity means learning to love my life even with dirty hair, after a long bike ride in the rain, without TV or a smart phone or a car. (It helps that I adore tending a gardening, knitting scarves, and long, meandering conversations.)

Here are some typical scenes of practicing simplicity in my daily life:

Dressing up to get $2 burritos from Chipotle. The things volunteers do to save a penny!
Harvesting worm compost at Jubilee House
Puzzles... always puzzles

 But, frankly, I am awful at "inner peace" simplicity. I operate at a moderate-to-high level of anxiety, regularly feel overwhelmed by my unending to-do list, and get stressed out pretty easily. To be fair, the work that I do (urban ministry) is very stressful, and self-care is super important. But I've come to realize that there will always be something. Something in my life that I can blame for my bad attitude, my inability to live in the present, or my not making a habit of quiet time, rest, and prayer.


Especially as I face the life transitions that lie ahead, I feel the pressure to do what I need to do and do it well, to be present in the moment, to adequately prepare for the future (logistically and emotionally), and to not worry while I do all these things! I can feel my blood pressure rise just thinking about it. Admission: I skipped church this weekend to whittle away at my to-do list. Maybe that was what I needed this weekend, but it was an awful sacrifice to have to make. I love experiencing worship through community at my church, so even though I may have had a few "extra" hours, I question if it was was worth it.

 Anyway, I guess I can be encouraged to know that I have room for growth. As I look ahead to leaving my job at the end of July, then three months traveling through Europe, and in November moving back to the Mother Mitten to be with my family (And hopefully find work/start graduate school), it's hard not to be overwhelmed. I'm trying to be patient and realize that transition is complicated and difficult no matter how "well" I navigate it. The reality is that I am facing the unknown, and more importantly the grief of leaving my friends, community-mates, and beloved faith family, my first "real" job (which I've poured so much of myself into over the last 3 years), and the intentional-community, social-justice-y, incense-burning, garden-growing lifestyle that has become so comfortable to me.

I pray that I can be brave enough to find clarity, learn how and where I need to focus my spirit this summer, and how I can Grace-fully move through this time in my life.

3 comments:

Unknown said...
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Unknown said...

Thanks for the composty reflection! I like it a lot, and we will no doubt have meandering conversations many more times! I think we all long for burning bushes and highlited road maps on the journey. For me, sometimes yes, but far more often, no. A turn here through the nudge of the Spirit, a twist here through the voice of a friend, and God guides me to where I need to be, but not with the clarity I desired. Yet needs were met, and growth occured, and God was present, holding me throughout it all! Blessings to you on the journey. Peace

Jera Medea Luna said...

Living with you brother tells me that the stressing out thing is a family trait.. although you seem to handle it better. Good blog.. hope to read more :)- Jessica